This is my awesome update.
It has been almost a week since I posted last. That’s because I have a ton of stuff going on. You would think that a single woman, no children, not many friends and only having one job wouldn’t keep me all that busy. Well, guess what… we were both wrong.
I have become slightly obsessed with my ugly quilt. I want to do at least 1 block per day. I will need between 80 and 100 blocks. Depending on how large I make this thing. I have almost 20 blocks done so far. That’s a far cry from the 5 that I had a couple weeks ago. This blanket is coming along nicely. Haha.
I interviewed for an administration position in another department at work. I am really hoping I get it. I would be working Monday – Friday 8-5! I would have every weekend off. I would have every evening. It would be less stress. It would be spectacular! I really hope that this works out. If not, my feeling won’t be hurt. I have friends in monitoring department already. I will be just fine.
My brother Adam has been in town the last few days. It’s been an adventure. He hasn’t been here in 10 years and his wife hadn’t ever been to Utah before. She couldn’t believe the amount of Temples and churches there. She loved it. We went to the Temple grounds here in Provo. We went to the MTC. We went to BYU campus. We even had lunch at my work. I was able to show off my amazingly cute niece and nephew.
We did the Mormon thing up at Temple Square. That was a 5 hour adventure. I didn’t think that there was 5 hours of anything on Temple Square. I was wrong. We also didn’t even make it to the Church history Museum. That will have to be for their next trip.
I have mixed feelings about family visiting me. I love having them here. I really do. I just don’t like being away from Spencer if I don’t have to be. I had so much fun with Adam, Casandra and the kids. I just had Spencer on the forefront of my mind the whole time. I wish that Spencer could have come with us. He would have enjoyed himself.
I think that is something that I struggle most with when I’m not with Spencer. If I am with friends of family laughing and having fun I think “Spencer should be here.” I then don’t have as much fun. I feel like I am leaving him out. I don’t like that. I want to share my fun times with Spencer and I can’t, to the degree that I want to anymore. I think that Spencer would have loved to have hung out with Kaylee. She would have been in love with Spencer too.
My face it broken out. I think it’s stress. It will start to heal and then all of a sudden I wake up with zits that have their out gravitational pull! The Rockies have nothing on my jaw line right now. It hurts and it lame. I am at a loss on what to do at this point about my skin. I think I should just burn everything and start again. Can scar tissue get zits? Yay for adult acne.
Spencer is doing about the same. He is frustrated with not being able to think or understand what going on. The frustrations are getting harder for him to not act on. He has been short with people the last few days. I understand where he is coming from.
Last night he was really cute. Everyone was making smores after dinner. Chris had made Spencer one. I told Chris he would be my best friend if he made me one. Spencer wasn’t eating his. I asked why. He said he was waiting for Christ to finish mine so we could eat them together. It was really cute. I like when he does things like that. It’s a little glimpse of the man that is behind the cancer blockade. Those moments are few but worth the wait.
Spencer is still anti pictures. I wish he would let me take his picture every so often. I feel like I am missing so much when go days without pictures of him. I want to remember. My 8th grade science teacher had a sign on his wall that said “The palest ink is better than the best memory.” That has stuck with me. I loved that quote then and I love it even more now. I love pictures. I am a good journal writer. I remember so much more because I write everything down. I want pictures to go along with my writings about this time. He made mention that he doesn’t want to be forgotten. I really don’t think that anyone could forget Spencer. If he could understand now that we NEED these pictures. I will just have to be sneaky. :)
What else has happened in the last week? I can’t really think of anything else… Oh! Yesterday I hit my 3 year mark in Utah. Weird right? I have lived away from my family for 3 years. I want to move back to Washington. Spencer told me I have to wait until we’re married. Haha, Jokes on me. I guess I will have to find another poor soul who will be willing to put up with me for eternity. Wish me luck. Spencer was truly one of a kind. I sure love him.
This is my update. Here are a few pictures. More may come later…