Saturday, October 20, 2012

He has been called home

One of the most amazing people I have ever known passed away this morning.

I received a phone call around 5:40am from Calli Hales saying that Spencer was called home.

I am extremely glad that he is no longer hurting. I am glad that Spencer now has his perfect knowledge and his perfect body. There isn't cancer. He is now the missionary that he has wanted to be. He would ask me when the pain would pass. I am happy that he isn't hurting.

I love Spencer. He has been my everything for over 2 years. He has been my balance. I can't say how much I love him. I don't have the words.

I will be posting a better blog about Spencer.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

This is a blog post

I have outstanding news! My car is in the shop! I am so excited. I should be driving by Tuesday.

I am so excited. I have Tuesday and Wednesday off this week. I will be able to go get my car and not have to leave right when it starts getting dark I will be able to actually stay until it’s bed time. I will be able to see my man more! I am so happy.

I also will be able to go grocery shopping. I haven’t really been grocery shopping in a long time. I will pick up milk and bread but I am really running on nothing at this point. I may need a friend to go with me. This is a warning to everyone.

I will also be able to use the GYM at work. I have never been able to before because I would be dark by the time I could find time to go. Now that doesn’t matter. I’ll be able to drive. I am really excited about this. Also with me not riding my bike to work every I’ll need to work out. HA!

On other notes. We had several call outs at work today. That was lame. It was crazy busy this morning. It seemed like every person ever was being a stinker and setting off the alarm. Also, there were lots of husbands with good intentions setting off the fire alarm. Some men just shouldn’t cook.

Jentrie had the giggles this morning. It was great. Everything was funny. I love when she is tired like that. Hahaha.

I am in a rambling mood. I hope that his hasn’t been too much of my awesome randomness. Haha.

Oh man! What a day yesterday was! Now that I have been able to get some sleep I will tell you about it.

It’s funny because I was more rested than most of the rest of the house.

Alexis and Aaron were married yesterday.

Mati and Lexi stayed up until 5am putting the finishing touches on Lexi’s dress. Calli stayed up all night doing flowers and everything else ever!

Olivia and I were up until 1am making pies and watching Batman. We had a slumber party at my house.

Olivia and I were back at her house by 6:50am.

I helped fix the bridesmaids dresses. The sleeves needed altered a bit. I did Hannah, Olivia and Alexis’ hair. I slapped together a flower for Aaron. It was a crazy morning.

I went home to try to take a nap around 11:30am. My upstairs neighbor was vacuuming for what seemed like an eternity. I finally gave up and went back to Spencer’s house.

His cousins were there to help him today while everyone was running around.

I was able to be with Spencer that afternoon and evening. It was fun to have a mini date again. We made dinner and were able to visit. He had a big day today also. He was up all night as well. With all the hustle and bustle of the night he wasn’t able to sleep.

He kept saying things like “My sister is married” “Alexis is married.” He asked me her new last name and he kept saying “Alexi Puglisi” over and over again. It was weird to him. I was weird to me too as my siblings got married.

He asked me if I thought anyone noticed that he wasn’t at the Temple or the Reception. I told him how I knew that everyone missed him. He kept saying how he wished he was able to go to the family dinner on the 12th. He wished he was able to go to the wedding. He loves his family so much. He wants to be able to share in these moments. He is so sad that he is sick. He feels like he is in the way and he would like to be helping.

Now that the wedding is over there will be a lot less stress at the Hales home. Everyone has been working so hard for the wedding. Lex was a vision in her dress. Mati, Olivia and Hannah were all so beautiful. Chris and Sam here so handsome. I am so glad I was able to see everyone all dressed up. It was a good day.

I had left for the evening before the family all got back from the reception. I did get to hear how that went. I will be asking about that tonight when I get to see everyone again.

I am glad that I was able to help with the wedding. I hope that Lexi’s day was memorable in the best ways. I love everyone at that house. I am so happy for Aaron and Alexis. I wish them all the happiness in the world.

Monday, October 8, 2012

What could have been

In February Spencer asked if I wanted anything from the jewelry store I worked at for Valentines Day. I looked at my left hand and then looked at him. I said "Yeah"

In March I started looking for a new job. Spencer and I talked about getting our rings before I quit Schubach. That way we could use my employee discount. We had our rings picked out.

Spencer's head started hurting. I told him several times to go to the doctor. He said it would go away. He was fine. The stress of getting the money for an MRI was weighing on us.

Sadly Sam broke his arm but now Spencer could get him MRI.

Marriage put on the back burner once again we waited for the MRI results.

In the mean time Spencer's tumor didn't want to wait for his doctors appointment. May 6, 2012 we were told that we had at best 6 months.

These last 5 months have been amazing in several ways. They have been hard and wonderful.

I asked Spencer if he would marry me when he was still in the hospital. We talked for a couple of weeks about it. He then just said "No". That broke my heart.

A few days ago Spencer told me why he said no. He told me that it wouldn't have been fair to me if we'd gotten married. That I shouldn't marry someone with cancer. I reminded him that the cancer has never been an issue for me. He said he knew that. That he still thinks that I shouldn't have to deal with it. That I need someone that will take care of me. That it isn't fair to me that I sit with him and do nothing. He feels like he's wasting my time. He then said he was sorry for being like this.

Spencer brought up marriage again today. He said that he wants me to make sure that I get married. That he wants me to be happy. I told him that I would still marry him today. He asked me "Why do you put up with me? I'm nothing." I tried to explain how much he means to me and how I love him.

He told me how if he wasn't sick we would be the ones getting married right now. I must admit I am painfully jealous of Lexi and Aaron. I am so happy for them. I am. It is just all I can do not to cry all the time when I see Lexi and Calli talking about the wedding or working on putting the finishing touches on things.

Okay so this is my rambling. I am going to leave you with a couple of pictures. These were the rings we had picked.

Memory Monday

Its Monday again. Who keeps letting that happen? Mondays are rude for the most part. They make me wake up early. I don’t love that. What I do love though is Memory Monday. That happens to be what this post is. Another Memory Monday! Aren’t you so lucky! You get to hear another memory that proves that I should be in a nut house!

I have been thinking about what I could write about. I have talked about several random things. What I have decided is that I am going to start picking pictures and then telling the story as to why we took it.

At the bottom of this post you will see pictures of Me and of Dedra with spoons on our faces. We were showing off how talented we are. These were talked while Dedra was living in Kansas.

I believe that these were taken at maybe 1am.

Dedra and I had been up sewing, playing, eating junk food, playing Chicken to Ride and having so much fun!

We were goofing around and we started to stick spoons to our faces. Dedra and I were able to get the spoons to stick to our cheeks and chins. We were able to get them to stick on our noses. We then got out tape and tried to stick them to out eyebrows. The silliness went on.

Dedra and I made blankets that were pictures of all the fun things we did on this trip. We went to Liberty Jail, we saw WICKED, we ate at the Melting Pot, we went to the Temple Lot, We had ice cream at Broms (sp), and meny more things. It was such a fun trip! Dedra even had Snow White living in her ward. She was the RS president. I saw her house. It was pretty much amazing.

That was such a fun trip! I loved Kansas mucho. It was a party!

***Side Note***
This was also the trip that I met my friend Jessica! Dedra and I had lunch with her at Pizza Hut. I drank Jessica’s water and I also smushed her chips. Haha! I am special. It was really fun. I heart Jessica Mucho! She is fun.

So this started out as Spoons on the face and then ended as my trip to Kansas that year… I’m good at this game.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

General Conference!

I love General Conference! It is amazing to me. Heavenly Father truly loves us. He has inspired his servants as they prepared their remarks. This I know.

President Eyring always seems to say what I need to hear. Sometimes I need to be reminded that God has a time table that differs from my own. God knows what I need. He knows what my friends and family needs. I needed that reminder.

Submitting to Gods will fully will help remove my spiritual pavilion. His time may not be mine but the things that have been promised to me I will receive.

Normally I am not a fan of listening to the women speak. Sister Burton's talk was awesome. "First Observe, Then Serve" it's like Heavenly Father is smacking me upside the head.

Jeffrey R Holland is so amazing. If I were ever to speak at Conference I would never want to follow him.

I love how all the speakers have the same tone on their talks with out that being the plan. 3 talks about Peter and how we need to truly be converted.

Testimony alone is not enough. It is important but we need to do more. Being converted is not a one time thing. It is a life long journey.

Believing in the teachings and prophecies taught in the scriptures
Exercising faith
Change of heart
Firm and steadfast in the faith

I am so proud to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. The church is true my friends. The church is true.

Paper Piecing

I was reading a sewing blog and they were talking about paper piecing. I asked Dedra what it was. She posted a tutorial on my Facebook. I watched it maybe 10 times. I looked for other tutorials.

These pictures are my first tries at paper piecing. Also the patterns I used.

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Saturday Sessions

General Conference is always amazing. Heavenly Father knows what we need to hear, when we need to hear it.

I have been preparing for conference, praying for friends and family and for a better understanding of many situations that are at hand. Listening to conference this morning and this afternoon prayers were answered. Today is proof once again that this is the true church. Heavenly Father hears and answers prayers.

My good friends lost a brother to suicide this week. It has been very hard for their family. Spencer is declining. It's slow but steady. It's hard on his family to watch him slip away. The talks about death of loved ones, children and ourselves were just what was needed.

I am so thankful that we have modern day revelation. I am thankful that Heavenly Father is there for us. I don't know what I would do without the truth and comfort this Gospel brings.

Thursday, October 4, 2012


This is a list of things that happened at work.

· Summer is on a diet so she went to McDonald’s and didn’t eat the bread on her sandwich. That way there were no carbs and it was “healthy” It was the best thing ever. Loved it!
· There is a mandatory meeting on my next day off that I informed my supervisor that I would not be attending.Sadness....
· When I told Norm I didn’t feel well he backed away slowly. He then brought me a trash can so I don’t ruin the carpet. He’s so thoughtful. Haha.
· Vivint is having an “End of the year Carnival”. My work friends tried to get me to say that I would be going. (There is no way in HELL that I would go to a show like that for “fun”)
· I raffled off my tickets to the carnival to my coworkers. Haha (That was fun.)
· I rocked my 1:1!
· Brock through a fit because his break was moved from 11am to 11:15. He freaked out at Cam. They has to leave the central Station to a finish the discussion. Norm ended up sending him home. There was HUGE drama because Brock is a big baby!

Good idea: Making AWESOME stew and getting to eat it with some of my most favorite people.
Bad Idea: Carrying the 7qt crock pot and 2 loafs of bread the half mile to their house.
Result: My arms are very sore. Haha

Good Idea: Waking up a few minutes early to work out before you head to work.
Bad Idea: Waking up a few minutes early to work out before you ride your bike 5 miles up hill to work.

Good Idea: Having good work friends to help the day pass by faster at work.
Better Idea: Not sitting by people so I can focus on my work.
Result: I have gotten 90%’s and higher on graded calls, I have had zero errors, my productivity is awesome and now that I am not sick my attendance is good too. WOOT!

Good Idea: Saving all my extra meal tickets at work.
Bad Idea: Forgetting your name badge at home so you are unable to print out a meal ticket.
Result: I own the souls of Kasey and Jeremy. Muhahaha!

Good Idea: quietly letting someone know that their toonies are showing.
Result: Tiphanie freaking out at me. (It made me want to punch her in the face…. HARD. It also made me wish that her toonies were still showing!) (I’m not bitter…)

This and That:

· I want to make bread
· I want my house to clean its self
· I want to never be tired again
· I want to sew all the time
· I want to be a master at paper piecing
· I want to be a H.I.N.J.
· I want to Shave people’s eyebrows and make them cry
· I want to throw my phone at the wall.
· Dedra is making a quilt that makes me painfully jealous
· Someone needs to make me a treat. NOW!

Wednesday, October 3, 2012


Time has been on my mind. When someone says "We've known each other for 25 years." The response generally is "Wow, that's a long time."

When someone says "He passed away at 25." The response is generally "Oh, he was so young."

It's the same amount of time. It's 25 years. It's all in how you look at it. Spencer is 25. We've been together for over 2 years. Dating someone for 2 years is a "long time". As I sit next to Spencer, holding his hand, it doesn't feel like its a long time.

He told me today that it wouldn't have been fair to me if we'd gotten married. That I shouldn't marry someone with cancer. That shocked me when he brought it up. I reminded him that the cancer has never been an issue for me. He said he knew that. That he still thinks that I shouldn't have to deal with it. That I need someone that will take care of me. That it isn't fair to me that I sit with him and do nothing. He feels like he's wasting my time. He then said he was sorry for being like this.

I told him that there are no sorry's and no regrets. That he isn't wasting my time. He keeps me company during my time off.

The doctors said we had at best 6 months. That was 5 months ago. When someone tells you that you only have 6 months to live its hard to think that you only have such a short time. When someone says "Ensign Ranch is in 6 months." That 6 months is an ETERNITY!

The last 5 months have been a huge growing experience. It has straightened my testimony of the Plan of Salvation. It has let Spencer and I talk about the memories we have made together. It has grown me up more than I ever thought possible. It has been a long but at the same time a very short 5 months.

I know this post has probably made zero sense. I'm sorry for that. I just wanted to ramble for a minute.