Old Lamp Lighter

I am sure that everyone is sick of this song. Well, not everyone because I'm not. I love this song. My siblings and I grew up singing it all the time It was a staple at our house.

I was having a rough day and wanted nothing more than to talk to my mom. I miss her so much and the other day I felt like I was falling apart. Joseph didnt know what to do with me. I started going through picture and videos.

 

I found this video from November 2009. Who knew that 3 months later she wouldn't be there anymore. Mom, Dad, Heather and Mikaela had come to visit me. I am so glad that they did. On this trip mom brought me a tape of her practicing the piano. I had misses being able to listen to her play.

A song that reminds you of one/both your parents

Mom had a few go to songs when she would be sitting down at the piano. If she was just messing around at home or if she was in a public place. She would start with Old McDonald. It would be played like she was a beginner. It was like she was showing you that she had just figured it out. Then she would boogie woogie the song.  As heard in the clip

Until my mom died we would sing around the piano. Mom would play fun songs and that would entice (trick) us to come sing. (I say trick because we wouldn't know sometimes that we were practicing for a "special" musical number in church until a couple of days (or the day of) before.) Mom would play Old Lamp Lighter and that would generally get most of us to come to the piano. Then She would play Here Am I. I loved to hear Dad sing this. I sadly only have a copy of him singing it where I am singing also. No one needs to hear that. So, I have a clip of my dad singing Old Lamp Lighter.

1096 days down, The rest of my life to go....

1096 days ago the world lost and amazing person. Since that day the world has also been a bit more sane. As hard as I try to fill that void, I fear that I will never be able to live up to my mom’s particular brand of crazy. I have too many A’s in my blood. (That brings on a different form of crazy.)

This year has been a tough one. I have needed Mom more than I have since she died. I have amazing sisters that have been there for me in every way. My brothers are there also. My Dad has been there to talk me of the cliff so many times. The only problem with talking with them is that they are all too nice. I need Mom to sit on the bed with me and tell me to “get your head out of your ass you dumb shit”.

I miss my Mom more than I have words to tell you. I would give anything to sit on the counter as she does her make up. I would love to go through pattern books at a fabric store picking out our next project. I would love to hear her giggle. I want to sing at the piano with her picking the songs. I want to have shrimp at midnight. I miss her sitting on the couch crocheting. I just miss her. It’s hard to believe that it’s already been 3 years. I feel like I haven’t really done anything that she would be proud of in that time. I’ve done a lot of stupid stuff though… Maybe that’s why I want to talk to her so bad. I want her to tell me what I need to do.

I am so thankful for Eternal families. I am so thankful that my parents were married in the Temple. I look forward to seeing my Mom again. I look forward to introducing who ever I marry to her. I can't wait for her to meet my children. She was one in a billion.

I miss her so much.

Happy November 16th

Here’s the thing. I have tried many times to post on my blog but nothing ever seems to be of worth. I know that in the past my posts have been fluff mixed with stuff. Lately, nothing seems noteworthy. I haven’t been writing in my journal. There is nothing worth writing.

Work has been the same. They are really understanding about my mental state. Sometimes they let me go home early because I just need to. I don’t sleep a whole lot. I get a few hours a night and then sip Diet Coke in the morning. That way I can function. The moment that I get home, I am wide awake. It’s like I am scared to fall asleep because the next day will come. Then when the day comes, I take a deep breath and get up.

I wake up and get ready for my day. I smile when I need to . I laugh when someone tells a joke. I cry sometimes with I am alone. I am less talkative. Over all I am okay though. I am going through the motions of life. Some days I have to force things. Some days I don’t. I feel very blessed that I was able to do most of my mourning with Spencer holding my hand. Even towards the end he kept trying to take care of me. I love him so much.

Today would have been my Mom’s 65th birthday. We never did birthdays at home. Dad would have bought a flower on his way home from work. They would have gone on a date to the Grocery store or maybe to the Sizzler. If Heather and Farrell happened to double with them, they would have gone to Azteca. Nothing Special.

Mom, Lynn, Sherla, Grandma Price, and several other fun people are on the other side Veil. Spencer just joined the group and I feel like I am missing the party.

Happy Mothers Day

This morning I called dad to wish him a happy Mothers day. Since mon passed away and I don't have kids, I didn't know it was mothers day until one of my sisters told me.

I went to church with Spencer's family. I didn't hate the talks. I was numb. I like hearing people talk about their mothers because I know mine was so much cooler. It does make me miss mom like crazy though.

I was a mess all day. I cried because I missed my mom. I cried over Spencer. I cried when I'd talk to Calli. I cried when I talked to Spencer. I cried. It's a mess!

I am so thankful for mothers. I have a few in my life that I couldn't live without. I have amazing women that I can talk to and ask advice. They teach me and are patient with me. I am so thankful for these women that have stepped up to the plate and are helping me be the woman I know I should be.

I look forward to being a mother so I can teach my children the things that I have been so lovingly taught.

Better late than never... right?

So I dressed up as my Mom for Halloween. It was so awesome. It was also weird. When i'd see myself in the mirror I was get kinda weepy. I looked enough like her that it was playing tricks with my mind. So, here are some pictures of me and one of my Mom. Tell me what you think. :)

Memory Monday - Haircuts.

This is my Mom and Wendi. So I am going to say this picture was taken in 1971 ish. This amazing woman is responsible for some "amazing" haircuts. Lets take a walk down memory lane for Memory Monday.

Ryan, Dedra and I have decided Memory Monday is going to be about haircuts. I cut hair for a living so I have some horror stories! I also know that having that to draw on is unfair. So, I will stick to the horror stories that have happened to my own head of hair. :)

I may have shared this story before but it's worth repeating. I happened to be one of those abused children that had a mullet. (I'm pretty sure that's where my deep hatred of mullets came from.) We hadn't moved to Silverdale yet, so I was maybe 3 or 4. (I remember doing this.) I had the scissors in my hand. I raised them to the top of my ear and cut. I had LONG hair. I watched the hair fall. I didn't think much of it. I then took the hair from the floor and put it on top of my head. (I thought it would reattach.) I then went into the kitchen where my Mom was. I went about my business. Then the dreaded words "Did you cut your hair?" escaped her lips. I said "No." (Again, I thought it would reattach.) She picked up the loose hair and put it in the trash. I was then was spanked and she cut the other side to match. That was the birth of my childhood mullet...

A few years later... Dedra and I asked Mom if we could cut my hair. Mom's exact words were "I don't care." Now for those of you who weren't raised in my house, that either means she really did not care or she wasn't listening and you may get your butt kicked later. This all depended on what it was you did. (Side Note: Cutting your sibling's hair is an offense that warrants death if caught.) Dedra and I went into Mom's bathroom to cut my hair. She kept making one side shorter. She'd "fix" it. Then "fix" it again and again... And again! It was still well below my shoulders but NOT as long as it was. We put my hair up in a towel when we walked out of the bathroom. Mom asked in her angry voice "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU TWO DO???"   ...we were in trouble...

Fast forward a few months. Mom cut my hair to my shoulders to even out the rest of my mullet!

Heather cut my hair short one time too. She was brushing my hair and asked me if I knew the perfect length of hair. Then she showed me! RUDE!!!

I also had what I lovingly refer to as "kindergarten bangs." My bangs were no-joke 2 inches above my eyebrows. I think that's why my bangs are always below my brows now. Haha

 This is me showing off Wendi and Heather's mullets. I have been looking and can't find one of mine. I have a back shot but in order to understand the horror that was my cut, the back shot wouldn't do.

 This is a good shot of my awesome bangs. Also this is the candy that we used to make. So if you read the Memory Monday about the candy, that's what it was.

Here is Mom working her magic on Janee Bales. Janee looked like Loretta Lynn when Mom was done. Her hair was HUGE!

Garen did this on his own... yeah...

Now that I’ve torn the band-aid off my wound I’m going to go cry in my closet.

My kids won't have bangs or mullets! This is a promise!

Mothers Day

I feel that I can now post about Mother's Day. I have some random pictures that I love and want to share.

This is My Mom. Charlet Ann Price Anderson. I know that every person can say that their Mom was Crazy. Mine Really was. She was a parent, friend, and someone that couldn't keep a secret to save your life.

When you could catch her actually smiling it was a treat. She had an amazing laugh that I miss everyday.

This is a 4 generation Picture of Grandma Calaway, Grandma Price, Mom and Wendi. I cry when I look at this picture because I cant even take a two generation picture. I love it though because these are 4 amazing ladies.

These are my Parents. I took this picture. Mom is smiling because Kyle and I were threatening to tell fart jokes. Dad wasn't thrilled. You can see it on his face. haha

*kissy kissy*

We went to Kansas to visit Dedra. I love this picture because Mom never liked being in front of the camera. It was rare and nice when we could catch her being silly on film.

The ONLY time Mom ever was on a ride at a fair! Dedra and I had to push her up the stairs the whole way. She doesn't like high places. She doesn't like slides. She HATES rides and yet... WE WIN!

We were showing Mom out tricks and she couldn't do it. She stuck the spoon up her glasses and said "see I did it." it was so funny! 

She told Dad to "stop taking my damn picture" It made me happy.

Mom Laughed with her whole Body. Again, I cant tell you what an awesome laugh she had! 

Dedra and I would always sing "Opera" together. It was loud, off key and SO BAD! Now every time we try to sing together we cant stay on key. Mom was trying to help us. We sang for Matthew's baptism. We did okay... ish.

We found out Mom had cancer on May 9, 2006. We were 3 months into chemo in this picture. I would take every Monday off so I would be there with Mom during chemo.

Even though she was so sick she never lost her flair. She was still every bit as much the spit fire she always was.

My Mom Died February 25, 2010

The Cancer came back and 3 weeks after we found out she was gone.

Even though she cant tell me to stop being a "little shit" or to quit my "damn bawling" I know she wants to. I miss her more than I can say and would give anything to hear her swear at me. I love her. She knows that. I will get to see her again. I know this. I am thankful everyday that I am part of an eternal family. 

Happy Mother's Day

Memory Monday - The Candy

There are so many things I could write about the candy. I could tell you how much we hated it. I could tell you that we missed school for it. I could tell you how the smell of sugar in the air as i was walking home from the bus stop made me walk slower. I could tell you how the thought of Saturday made me Ill. 
I could also tell you that the song 9-5 by Dolly Parton warms my heart and makes me laugh. I could tell you that I am close with my siblings because we worked long hours together. We would laugh so hard we would cry. We would cry from exhaustion til we would laugh. As much as we hated the candy, we have some amazing memories because of it.

I was 7 the first time I got to ride in a police car and it wasn't the last time. 
The security guards at several outlet malls have been toyed with. We were sneaky and they could never find us but we always knew right where that were. That's called team work. We have been kicked out of stores and towns by frustrated people that couldn't believe that the mouthy 10 year old wasn't intimidated and would still look them in the eyes. I have walked the main street of every major town in Washington by the time I was 10. How many people can say that?

One of our selling trips/ vacations we drove to Utah. I was 5. We were at the BYU bookstore. I think Heather was supposed to be watching me. I was bored and started walking to the car the way we came in. I was standing at the drop off in front of the Wilk. I decided I wanted to try directing traffic. In the mind of a 5 year old I was going great! The cars were listening to me and there were no accidents. I was doing my job right. Haha. Mom was relieved and ANGREY when she found me. I was in huge amounts of trouble!

Another time we were leaving early on a Saturday morning. Mom was rushing us because we were going far and had to be there between 9 and 10. Once we got there and we are getting teams set and routs picked I tell Mom I forgot my shoes. We were in such a rush and I didn't even notice til we got there... She wasn't happy... Hahaha

When I was 7 I got my ears pierced. We were coming to the end of the selling day ish and Dedra thought I should get my ears done. The first place we went to the lady had 15 piercings in each ear. I was so scared that I worked myself up to a vomit. I was crying and couldn't breathe. It was bad. We left. The second place an old mean grandma lady sat me down, told me I wasn't allowed to cry and took a pen to color on my ear lobes. She drew a dot on each of my ears and checked if they were even. She then showed me the GUN and said I had to hold still. Two painful quick pinches later I had pierced ears. Adam told me they were ugly and I had to take them out. I didn't listen. 

One of my most favorite stories. I was 8 or 9 I think. I had been talking in a british accent all afternoon. Some lady in a flower shop said my accent was amazing and asked where I was from. I dropped the accent and said "Bremerton" Dedra was so embarrassed! Hahaha 

That's my Memory Monday for this week.

My non Mother's Day post

I thought Dedra said it best on her blog do I am going to copy part of it.

"I'm not in the mood to listen to Mother's Day talks. I don't really want to hear how great everyone's mother is and all the super fantastic things they do. So here's how it's going to go down. I'm going to take a super soaker with me to church tomorrow. (A really big water gun.) I might even get the backpack the holds extra water. Then I'll sit in the front row of the chapel and as each speaker talks about how awesome their Mom is, I'll squirt them in the face. Gurgling talking will take place. When it's over, I'll go to the next class and act as though nothing out of the ordinary happened."

So I am not going to Church today. I will go next week. I don't want to be grumpy with people that have done nothing wrong just because I miss my Mom. So happy birthday to me! I am staying home!

I have plans for a real Mother's day post. It's just going to be late.

Cross Roads

There are some times in life you find yourself not knowing where you should go. Should I go "That a way" or "This a way"? When Dedra was up for a visit we found ourselves in just such a place. :)

In this same area there are tons of silly road names. It makes me happy. They are so Rad. When you first see them you think you are nuts, but no. The road names are!

So Today is my Mom's Birthday. She wasn't too excited about having another birthday. She doesn't like that all her kids are growing up and leaving home. :( This picture was taken at 11:45 pm ish way back in August. She didn't want to cook and Dedra and I had been going to Shari's alot anyway so Mom, Dad, Dedra and I all went out. It was really fun and we were all silly. I love being able to have silly moments with my family. It makes for fun memories.

I think my favorite memory or at least one of them with my Mom is When I was in 2nd or 3rd grade. We were making the candy and we were a day behind where Mom thought we should have been. She was so grumpy with all of us for not working as fast as she thought we should have been. So Adam and I decided that we were going to stay up all night and finish decorating all the candy baskets that were left. We had a seminary table and the piano and then part of the built in table left. When everyone else went to sleep Adam and I got up and got to work. We didn't finish before mom got up. We were so sad when we got cought. We were still at the table when Mom got out of bed. I started to cry when I saw her. (It was my first all nighter) I was so tired and sad that we didn't finish. We only had what was on the piano left. Mom was so relieved when she saw what we had done. Adam and I were so glad that she didn't make us go to school! We went to bed and then when we woke up we had to get back to work on the candy... BUT WE DIDN'T HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL!!! :) I love my mom so much! She is a lady of many talents.