Friday, August 31, 2012

Yep


August 30, 2012

I have been asked by someone very near and dear to my heart to not write so much about them on my blog anymore. Because I love and respect Spencer I won’t be posting as much about him.

I know that he is the reason that most people read my blog. I am sorry to disappoint. I will still post about the boring things that happen to me though. .. yeah I know, not nearly as good of a read.

8.30.12

I worked until 4:30. I got off a couple of hours early to run an errand and to have dinner with Ryan. We went to Tucono’s. That was a treat. You had to roll us out of there. It was so good. We normally went to Tucono’s on birthdays. Spencer and I would go for lunch and then graze until dinner. Haha. That way we only had to pay the lunch price but we were able to go all day. We were sneaky.

After dinner I did head over to Spencer’s house. I was there until it started to get dark.

I was going to work out… I ended up talking on the phone for an hour instead. Haha. I did work out a little. I just didn’t work as hard as I should have…

Ryan slept on my couch last night. He got to my house well after I was in bed and asleep. I have no idea what time. I didn’t hear him come in. haha.

I am now at work again… LAME!

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

My friend, Batman!

Not many people can say that they are friends with a super hero. You may think that your friends are super but not as super as mine!

I shall not divulge the identity of the caped crusader. I will, however post some of the amazing photos of them that I was able to capture while we were hanging out in the back yard.

I have to admit that this is pretty much the coolest thing ever.

Sunday, August 26, 2012

I should learn to proof read... Naaa

It’s that time again. I really do well about posting and then I get in a rut and think “blah! I don’t love my blog.” Well I have decided to overlook my momentary distaste for my blog and post something.

I brought over the ugly blanket to show Spencer. As far as I could tell, he thought it was neat. He told me he was sorry for ruining everything. I told him he ruined nothing. That this blanket will still be used. He was able to see it. There is nothing ruined. He didn’t want to have his picture taken. I told him he had to. He said that I wasn’t to post it. So, sadly you won’t get to see said picture.

School started again. I didn’t realize how much more traffic there would be. My ride to work has become more interesting. Now I have to watch for crazy teen drivers too. haha. I am amazed on how many kids drive. I don’t remember that many people driving when I was in high school. Whatever.

My allergies were going crazy for a couple of days. (It’s rained and I feel much better now.) Spencer asked what was wrong because I was sniffing. He thought I was crying. I told him I was fine that I would be better when it rained. He asked if he would be better too when it rained. That he was tired of being sick. I really did start crying after that. It was heart breaking. That was a couple of days ago.

I have discovered that you can’t read a book on your electronic device but you are able to read a magazine at your desk. That made zero sense to me. Oh well, I was able to read almost the whole Ensign at work today. Ha!

Last night Spencer was awake and we were talking… sort of… He was asking his normal round of questions trying to figure out what was going on. After he decided that he hated everything I started asking him questions.

I asked Spencer if he knew what was still holding him to this life. He said he didn’t know but he wished he did.

I asked Spencer if he was scared. He was quiet for a moment. He was frustrated and said that he didn’t know.

I asked if he was ready. He said Yes.

I asked if he knew that he is loved. He said he wasn’t worth it. I said “That is not what I asked you. I asked if you knew you were loved. Not if you thought you were worth it.” He said Yes. I then explained to him that he is worth loving.

I asked if he remembered the first time he told me he loved me. He said no. I told him the story. He said he was sorry for not remembering.

I asked him if he remembered the slinky date. He smiled and said yes. I started to cry. I was so happy. The slinky date was fun. We’d only been dating a couple of months. It was getting chilly outside. I had made us stew for dinner. We then raced slinkies down the stairs at the apartments I was living at, at the time. In the trunk of my car I had put 2lt bottles of Diet coke and a 12 pack of cans. I had Mentos in my pocket. We made soda fountains and bombs at the park. It was so fun! When we got back from the park we were sticky. It was a mess. We then finger panted with different colors of pudding and then ate it with graham crackers. He painted my face a little. My roommate at the time made us call a truths before it got too messy. Haha. It was really fun.

I asked him if he remembered all the puzzles we worked on while we were getting to know each other. He said yes. I was so glad.

I know that he will have a perfect knowledge when he dies. I know that he will be able to remember everything. It doesn’t stop it from hurting when he doesn’t remember big moments. I am glad that he remembers other things though. It’s funny, without the puzzles we wouldn’t had had the slinky date. Without the slinky date we wouldn’t have ended up talking about visiting Washington. Without the trip to Washington we wouldn’t have worked our way up the “I love you” stage. Maybe he just remembers the important moments that lead up to the big ones. See even now he is teaches me perspective. He’s a turd. I love him.

After my Mom died I was scared. I knew that I would be able to see her again. I just needed to remain faithful to what I knew was right and true. I am not going to pretend that I didn’t go a little crazy after she died because I did. After much soul searching, prayer, fasting and a lot of help from Spencer and my family I have found a deeper understanding of the Gospel and the Plan of Salvation. I know that when I pray that Heavenly Father hears the word I say. I also know that sometimes He wants to tell me to “SHUT UP”. I know that I will get to see my Mother again. I know this. I know that my family is an Eternal one. There will be a party on the block labeled “Kent and Charlet Anderson’s Family” It will be loud, fun and you wish you were invited. Haha. The last 2 ½ years have taught me a great deal. I am sad to be losing Spencer. I am. The thought of him not being here brings me to tears every time. He has a great work to do. He will be able to be a missionary. He is an amazing teacher. He is so kind and patient. He has an understanding of the gospel that will help him in the next life.

I was scared when Mom died. I am not so scared with Spencer dying. ( I am scared for him to meet mom. He thought the rest of us were nuts. He’s going to meet the Mama of the crazies!) I am sad but I am not scared. I am so thankful to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I don’t think that I would have been able to handle this life without the truths and the knowledge that the church has provided me.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

The post I thought I posted last night. Ha!

August 21, 2012

I am going to have my 5 minute ramble:

Today was the first day of school for a lot of my coworkers children. I loved all the fun pictures of all the cute kids. Stacy’s daughter had her first day of kindergarten. Stacy was so sad and her daughter was all “Mom, go to work. I’m fine!”

Julia is in California. That is rude. She is missing the party. I would like to have her here. She would giggle at the funny names also.

I had a candy bar for breakfast. Yes, it was worth it. Yes, I will probably do it again.

I have sewing on the brain. I want to go spend $100 on fabric! That won’t happen. I just want it to happen. I need to use all the old before I get new. I want to start making blankets. The pretty blanket that Spencer wanted me to make has a pattern already drawn up. I just need to make it. There were a couple of patterns that he like when he would flip through my graph paper book. I put notes by them so I would be able to remember. I think that those are going to be the blankets that I make next.

I am sorry that all I want to talk about lately is sewing. Sometimes that’s all I want to do and other time I look at my sewing machines and wonder why I have them. Haha.

We have several people getting married in the next couple of months. There is a lot of craziness going on here as they plan. (David just called a customer a Dip Shit. HAHAHA) Leti just had her engagement photos taken a couple of days ago. Maria will be getting hers done soon. Tyler is still in shock that his woman said yes. It’s been fun to listen to them. It makes me so jealous.

That was my 5 minutes. That was fun. I like to have a rambling moment.

I like lists. This is what my work day was:

· Cam didn’t tell me to put my phone away. Muhahaha!
· I sneezed on Juan. He wasn’t happy. It was an accident. My allergies weren’t happy with his aftershave.
· I pinned Maria’s Skirt to her shirt. Haha.
· I spoke Ron WoodSchit. If that was my last name, I would change my name.
· Someone brought cupcakes to work with blue frosting and we decided frosting was better as face paint.
· When I call the other departments I like to talk in different accents. It keeps me entertained.
· Dedra called me at work and greeted me with “You poop your pants” When I answered the phone. It was Special. (Hey Dedra, The Calls are all recorded. If they grade that call you are in HUGE trouble!)
· I tried to talk Norm into filling our trophy with candy. He keeps telling me no.
· I came up with a plan to foil Norm’s verdict of no candy in the trophy.
· Cami brought in her baby! Aria is 1 week and 1 day old. She is stinking cute. I miss Cami.
· I had a lunch date with David.

Work wasn’t as fun today. Cam was running the floor. He’s a stick in the mud. I like Herschel so much better.

I will be working late a lot this week. I am trying to make up some of the hours that I missed last week. I need to get at least 13 hours of overtime to make up what I missed last week. I’m not excited for the longer hours. I am just glad that I will be able to make some of them up. :)

I cut Olivia's hair for school. It is super cute. I was only able to see Spencer for a short time. I worked late and then cut hair.

I was able to almost finish my blanket. It will be awesome.

The Blanket

I first talked about this blanket a couple of weeks ago but I have been working on it for a year. I been so scared that Spencer wasn't going to be able to see it finished.

I have been working like a mad woman to finish this quilt top. This morning around 11 I finished it!

My sewing machine started throwing a fit last night. I thought it was because it'd been working a lot and was tired. I'd oiled it again, cleaned out the dust and then went to work on placing the blocks. This was at midnight last night. I was tired, The sewing machine was tired and Dedra was tired. So we all went to bed.

This morning my machine through a fit borderline conniption. I set it aside and with fear in my heart I got out my Mom's machine. This was the second time I've used it since she died. The first was to take in a skirt. I said a prayer asking Heavenly Father to tell me Mom that I won't break anything and that if she wanted to help me see she was invited to the party.

We finished the blanket top. I took pictures. I heading over to Spencer's house right now. I may post more very soon.

Here are some AWESOME pictures of the blanket that should have be the one Spencer and I had on OUR bed. You will also see now why he wanted a different one. Hahaha!

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

WIP Wall Update

GOOD MORNING!

Okay, WIP wall update – I have 5 blocks left to do! Last night I started sewing them. I hope to have them all done by tonight. I don’t work tomorrow. I may stay up until o’dark:30 to finish the quilt top tonight! MUHAHAHA!

I want to do a zigzag blanket. I was laying out fabric last night. I know it’s not that hard. It just took me a few minutes for me to figure it out. This too will be a blanket of less that pretty fabric. I am trying to use up all my left overs. This blanket will also just be for the pile that is behind the couch. I am looking forward to this one as well. If I don’t mess up the little zigzag blanket I am going to make a big one.

I am the kind of person that needs to have a couple of projects going at the same time. I don’t feel that sense of satisfaction at the end of a project. I feel disappointment. I have that “Now what?” feeling. It’s lame. If I have more than one project going I never have the “Now What?’s”

I have 1 blanket that fits my bed. I have one that is turned the wrong was so it hangs over the sides and then the one that fits my bed over it. Haha. I want to make 4 or 5 bigger blankets. I like having projects. :)

Monday, August 20, 2012

August 20, 2012

I am going to ramble for a few minute. I am going to write everything down that comes to my mind for the next 5 minutes.

When you are calling a company and they give you a 1.800 number that had options what do you do? If I don’t hear what I want to hear I press 0 so that I can speak to a person. People who call us don’t do that. They hit button 1. That is the department that I work in. We deal with the emergency dispatching and account history and Special Instructions. Now, when you have questions about your bill, scheduling a tech to come out, questions about your new sensors, want to update your system, Licensing updates or whatever else you need to talk about that isn’t what we deal please KEEP LISTENING TO THE OPTIONS! They hear “Report a false alarm” and think that because why don’t have an emergency they should talk to us. That is simply not the case. It drives me crazy sometimes. Like now. The last 6 or 7 calls have been for people that haven’t needed this department. One person even said “Extension 5**9 Please” IF YOU KNOW THE EXTENSION, THEN TYPE IT IN YOURSELF!!! That really bugged me. –

Other things that have happened today:
· Cameron told me to put my phone away. I told him “Hell no”. (I need to talk nice. He is just a big bully and I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of winning.)
· David and I giggled like little girls because it bothered James.
· James told us funny stories from his trips to Las Vegas.
· We blew up a beach ball and played indoor volley ball.
· I reached under the desk and grabbed Tiffany’s feet because she always jumps and shrieks. Hahaha. (It was so funny!)
· Herschel walked around handing out gold fish crackers
· I talked to someone named Ronald Crapps – Not a joke that was his name.
· When people had ring back tones we put our phones on speaker and had mini dance parties.
· There is a girl that I work with that is an idiot. We like to tell her she’s pretty. She always tells us thanks when we tell her she’s pretty. She doesn’t get it…

Other things happened too. It was a fun day at work. I was glad I came in. – That was my 5 minutes.

I have a new idea for a blanket. I am a little nervous. I want it to work but that is still to be seen. I will post pictures if I can figure it out. Haha. This ugly blanket has taught me so much about sewing. It isn’t fancy. It is old crappy fabric. It’s been an amazing learning curve. I am excited to do more.

Just in case anyone cares I want a rotary cutter for Christmas. YOU BETTER CARE!

I was able to spend my evening with Spencer. I was glad for that. He is my favorite. He slept most of the time. He only ever woke up to ask what was wrong with him. This is the conversation we had maybe 10 times tonight

Him: what's going on?
Me: you're resting in your room.
Him: what's wrong with me?
Me: you have brain cancer.
Him: what do I do?
Me: endure.
Him: I'm sorry.
Me: for what?
Him: I don't know. I'm just sorry.
Me: don't be this will pass and everything will work out.
Him: I don't mean to make you sad.
Me: you don't. You are my happy.

He would then close his eyes and sleep for a little bit.

I left around 8. I work in the morning. Work will be good this week.

On a gross note, My allergies are trying to make my nose explode. Its ruining my life! I'll leave you with that. Hahaha

Blocks

I just want to make mention of the AWESOME that is my WIP wall. I have as of right now 51 blocks done and hanging on my wall. I am so excited about this. I have been talking to some people about how big I should be making this blanket. I may be closer to being done that I thought. Spencer may get to see the finished product after all!

This made me laugh out loud. I have to share. I had taken pictures of the blocks and my wall to show Spencer the progress of this ugly blanket. As he was looking at the pictures he said “Gina, this is really ugly. You should make a pretty blanket.” I wanted to cry I was beyond happy when he said that.

I am less than 30 blocks away from the end. I am going to buy a sheet for the back. I already have the batting. I hope to have this done on Wednesday. If I do I will be able to show Spencer. I am so excited!

I may have extra blocks. There is a chance that I will have another ugly blanket that will be a cuddle quilt. This is awesome.

I am in a really good mood this morning. That may be because I had caffeine this morning right after my bike ride. Good times.

Friday, August 17, 2012

This and that

This is my awesome update.

It has been almost a week since I posted last. That’s because I have a ton of stuff going on. You would think that a single woman, no children, not many friends and only having one job wouldn’t keep me all that busy. Well, guess what… we were both wrong.

I have become slightly obsessed with my ugly quilt. I want to do at least 1 block per day. I will need between 80 and 100 blocks. Depending on how large I make this thing. I have almost 20 blocks done so far. That’s a far cry from the 5 that I had a couple weeks ago. This blanket is coming along nicely. Haha.

I interviewed for an administration position in another department at work. I am really hoping I get it. I would be working Monday – Friday 8-5! I would have every weekend off. I would have every evening. It would be less stress. It would be spectacular! I really hope that this works out. If not, my feeling won’t be hurt. I have friends in monitoring department already. I will be just fine.

My brother Adam has been in town the last few days. It’s been an adventure. He hasn’t been here in 10 years and his wife hadn’t ever been to Utah before. She couldn’t believe the amount of Temples and churches there. She loved it. We went to the Temple grounds here in Provo. We went to the MTC. We went to BYU campus. We even had lunch at my work. I was able to show off my amazingly cute niece and nephew.

We did the Mormon thing up at Temple Square. That was a 5 hour adventure. I didn’t think that there was 5 hours of anything on Temple Square. I was wrong. We also didn’t even make it to the Church history Museum. That will have to be for their next trip.

I have mixed feelings about family visiting me. I love having them here. I really do. I just don’t like being away from Spencer if I don’t have to be. I had so much fun with Adam, Casandra and the kids. I just had Spencer on the forefront of my mind the whole time. I wish that Spencer could have come with us. He would have enjoyed himself.

I think that is something that I struggle most with when I’m not with Spencer. If I am with friends of family laughing and having fun I think “Spencer should be here.” I then don’t have as much fun. I feel like I am leaving him out. I don’t like that. I want to share my fun times with Spencer and I can’t, to the degree that I want to anymore. I think that Spencer would have loved to have hung out with Kaylee. She would have been in love with Spencer too.

My face it broken out. I think it’s stress. It will start to heal and then all of a sudden I wake up with zits that have their out gravitational pull! The Rockies have nothing on my jaw line right now. It hurts and it lame. I am at a loss on what to do at this point about my skin. I think I should just burn everything and start again. Can scar tissue get zits? Yay for adult acne.

Spencer is doing about the same. He is frustrated with not being able to think or understand what going on. The frustrations are getting harder for him to not act on. He has been short with people the last few days. I understand where he is coming from.

Last night he was really cute. Everyone was making smores after dinner. Chris had made Spencer one. I told Chris he would be my best friend if he made me one. Spencer wasn’t eating his. I asked why. He said he was waiting for Christ to finish mine so we could eat them together. It was really cute. I like when he does things like that. It’s a little glimpse of the man that is behind the cancer blockade. Those moments are few but worth the wait.

Spencer is still anti pictures. I wish he would let me take his picture every so often. I feel like I am missing so much when go days without pictures of him. I want to remember. My 8th grade science teacher had a sign on his wall that said “The palest ink is better than the best memory.” That has stuck with me. I loved that quote then and I love it even more now. I love pictures. I am a good journal writer. I remember so much more because I write everything down. I want pictures to go along with my writings about this time. He made mention that he doesn’t want to be forgotten. I really don’t think that anyone could forget Spencer. If he could understand now that we NEED these pictures. I will just have to be sneaky. :)

What else has happened in the last week? I can’t really think of anything else… Oh! Yesterday I hit my 3 year mark in Utah. Weird right? I have lived away from my family for 3 years. I want to move back to Washington. Spencer told me I have to wait until we’re married. Haha, Jokes on me. I guess I will have to find another poor soul who will be willing to put up with me for eternity. Wish me luck. Spencer was truly one of a kind. I sure love him.

This is my update. Here are a few pictures. More may come later…

Monday, August 13, 2012

Thinking

I have been thinking a lot lately of all the things that I have had to relearn how to do. I knew that I relied on him for a lot of things. I just didn’t know how much until he wasn’t there anymore.

Electronic anything was something that he did. When I got a different entertainment center I had to move all my stuff on my own. He had it wired in a special way. I had to take notes as I was taking it apart so I could put it back together the way he had it. It took me a longer time than it should have. I tried the other day to fix my phone myself… I ended up breaking it more. The internal memory was getting full. I deleted things that I shouldn’t have. I lost a lot of phone numbers. I lost text messages. Settings were reset to weird things. I have no idea what I did or how to fix it.

I haven’t been grocery shopping alone in over 2 years. Spencer and I were an only married couple. We worked on puzzles. We stayed home most evenings. Our date nights were us making dinner together, cleaning up, maybe watch a movie, play cards or we would go grocery shopping. Sounds exciting right? Spencer and I were able to talk. We really know each other. That is something that I have always been thankful for. I haven’t really been grocery shopping since his cancer came back. I have been to Smiths to get milk and lettuce. That’s about it. The whole time I have to be on the phone too.

Spencer would be at my apartment all the time. We were together every moment that we could be. Now that he is sick I go over to his house right when I get off work until my bed time. He used to be at my house from after work until bed time. My favorite thing in the world was when I would get home and he would be there. I loved coming home to him. I could have had the worst day ever, seeing him when I got home made every stress fall away. He is my happy.

There are other things that I am having to relearn. I am not looking forward to the next year or so.

WIP

I have been working on the blanket that was going to be for when Spencer and I got married. It is really ugly. The more I work on it the more awful it gets. I am so excited to see the finished product!

I have taken a few pictures of my wall. The way they are pinned up is subject to change as I continue to sew. I only have 12 blocks done so far.

Dedra can sew. I pretend. I have been trying new things other than squares. I am a little proud of my windmill block. I really am. It doesn’t line up the way it should but for my very first time ever doing it I thought it was awesome.

This is my WIP wall:

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Ramblings of an insane mind

I worked on my WIP wall yesterday. Dedra would be so proud of me. I finished 3 blocks, ironed all the completed ones and then walked away again because I was mad at my sewing project. :)

The blanket I am working on is one that will be so UGLY when it is done. It is all my scrap fabric. The colors don’t match. The fabrics are all different. It will be really awesome. When I started the project Spencer asked why I was making something so ugly. I told him it was going to be the blanket that we were going to have on our bed when we got married. He in the cutest way ever asked so nicely “Can we have a pretty one instead?” I laughed. I told him that we were going to have this ugly for the first 10 years and that we would reevaluate then. He seemed less than thrilled. He told me he would buy the fabric if we could have a pretty one to start with. I still told him no. I really wanted the crazy quilt. It would have been more fun.

Now that Spencer is sick I really want to finish it. There is a lot of work. I don’t think I will be able to finish it before he passes. I am going to try though. I was asking him if he remembered the quilt. He said he wasn’t sure. I will just need to bring pictures. See if that helps. Haha. It is really ugly.

Last night was a really fun night. Calli and Stephen went on a date. I was glad that they were able to get out and have some time with friends. The Girls were babysitting, the boys are at High Adventure and so it was a nice evening with Spencer and Mati. It was nice to have the time with Spencer and to visit with Mati.

Everyone got home around 8:45. I the made my exit. I had to work this morning.

I got to work around 8:15am. It am making up some hours. The ride to work just about killed me. It’s not a hard ride. I was almost hit 4 different times. I ride on the shoulder until there is trail for bikes. People are scary.

I got new tires last Wednesday. Sam told me that I would have better traction but it would be a little harder to peddle. He was right. My quads are a little sore. I have been riding my normal route to work. Yesterday morning I rode out to the lake and back. That was harder than it should have been. Haha

Adam and Casandra will be in Utah on Tuesday. I am excited to have family here. I will get to see them on Tuesday and Wednesday. It just so happens that I have those days off. Ha! I look forward to seeing how big Kaylee and Caleb are. I am also excited to make dinner. I’ve not really cooked in a while. I like cooking.

This is a very rambling blog… I’m not really sorry. I am in a rambling mood. Haha.
The other day my sister and I were texting back and forth. We were talking about the things that we do that show we are slowly turning into our Mom. Like when we vacuum the kitchen, the way we write sometimes will look like Mom wrote it, The way we talk, our tempers, thing like that…

Dedra is way too nice to really turn into Mom. I, on the other hand am not. I have a sharp tongue and a temperament that is almost the exactly like my Mother’s. It scares me sometimes. My mom was an awesome lady don’t get me wrong. There are lots of things that I am thankful that I can do because I am so much like her. There are just other things that are going to make my life hard if I don’t learn to play nice with the other kids. Mom used to tell me all the time that I was either going to have a husband that I will argue with all the time or one that is submissive. (Spencer was neither by the way. He was the perfect balance. He told me to cool it when I needed to. He liked that I was head strong and bold when I needed to be.)

I have been thinking about this topic a lot since we talked about it. I was so happy that I’d found someone that wanted to put up with me. No I am back to square one. I am scared that I won’t be able to find someone else that will be able to balance me the way Spencer did. What are the odds that I will be able to find someone that will have the temperament that will be able to handle all my crazy? It makes me scared.

Maybe I’ll be single for the rest of my life and then I will get to be with Spencer in the end. I’ll probably die when I’m in my 60’s. I can just be a Temple worker for the rest of my life. 35 years isn’t that long of a time compared to eternity.

I am going to end this post before I get too crazy. I may or may not post again today.

Thursday, August 9, 2012

15 years ago

15 years ago Dedra woke me up at O'dark:30 in the morning. She married so weirdo. I was 11. I was mad at him for taking my sister away. I forgive him.

Happy Anniversary Dedra and Ken. You guys don't stink. You are nerds though.

I'm still here!

Well I have been MIA for the last week or so. I haven’t been feeling 100%. I took a couple of days off work. I am not excited to see the small pay check that I will have but I am glad that I was able to rest. I needed it.

I can’t even thing of what to tell you that has happened in the last week.

My bike kept trying to kill me with stress. Sam helped me order new tires that should be better than the ones that I have. We got them yesterday. He changed out the tires. I can tell a huge difference in the ride. Sam is a life saver!

My boss was just transferred to a different department. He is excited for the promotion. I am sad to see him go. I really like Mike.

Spencer has been resting more. He is upstairs a lot of the time. His bed is more comfortable than the couch. He was really frustrated yesterday with not being able to think. He seemed to know what was going on for the most part. I even got an I love you. He’s not said it back in a while. It just about made me cry I was so happy.

I was glad to be able to talk with Spencer. We didn’t talk about much or for very long. I told him what was going on with work. I told him about my new tires. We talked about where we would be if he wasn’t sick. It was nice to be able to talk. I miss that. We used to talk until the early hours of the morning. He is so wonderful. I love him so much.

This is my little update. I will maybe post again soon. I am trying to keep everyone updated. Sorry for my lameness as of late. I’m working on it.

Monday, August 6, 2012

Ken has a blog

I just found out my Brother-in-law has a blog. Everyone should stalk him. amazeofwords.blogspot.com

I like it mucho.

Friday, August 3, 2012

Bonus Post

This is what I am going to call a bonus blog. I am at work. We all sit at desks. We have an unlimited supply of free soda and hot chocolate. There is a cafĂ© down stairs that gives free food to the employees. We have a gym in the other building that is hardly ever used. They have started the “Biggest Loser” here at work. Todd is notorious for giving away cruses. He right now has 6 dirt bikes downstairs that he is going to give away.

To me, this still isn’t enough to get me off my big butt. I am not scared of my weight. I weigh 188. I weighed myself on Wednesday. I am 5’6 according to all the fun charts I’ve looked at I should be about 50-65 pounds lighter. I could work on that… or I could eat a root beer float and watch a movie. I vote for the latter. I like root beer floats much more than doing sit-ups… I exercise enough to maintain. Haha.

I see the reason as to why they are starting a weight loss competition. In the last 4 months I have seen several people plump up. When they asked if I was going to be part of this “game” I told them no. I have FGS (Fat Girl Syndrome) and I am okay with it. I thought it was rude that they asked me. I was the only one that was asked by name if I was going to participate. It’s like they are trying to tell me something. They’re rude. I should bring treats to work to thwart their plans. Muhahaha!

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Not much of an update but it's an update

I have been so jealous of the people around me the last week. Everyone gets to go to Girls Camp but me! I want to go so bad. Dedra was gone all last week. Mary and Spencer’s sisters are there this week. My nieces have been gone randomly throughout the summer. I WANT TO GO TO CAMP. I am aware that this is a very 14 year old thing to want. Let’s face it… sometimes I am very 14.

Work today made me want to break something. I kept getting people from the other departments asking me how to do their job. I’m sorry. I am not in account resolutions or retention on purpose. I am in emergency response. They can kiss it!

Good Idea: Having a job that makes you think.
Bad Idea: Thinking you should beat up the other people you work with…
Result: This is my 10 week. It’s trying to kill me. That’s rude.

There are lots of things I could tell you about. Like how I was able to sit with Spencer for 2 days straight. There were many more hard moments than I would like to admit. He is really depressed. He talked about things that make me cry. He is struggling. It’s hard for him. There were a few really great moments too. I was able to hold his hand. I was able to see him smile. I have been able to talk with him about things we planned. He may not have been awake during this talk but I was still able to talk to him. I was able to just sit with him. It was wonderful.

The wonderful moments make the hard moments worth it. I love him so much.